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<title>The Flaming Homosexual's Pregnancy Partner Club by Crazy_Comet_97</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28552731">The Flaming Homosexual's Pregnancy Partner Club</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Comet_97/pseuds/Crazy_Comet_97'>Crazy_Comet_97</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Direction Erections and Band Bangs In-Between [25]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Justin Bieber (Musician), One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Crack, CRIED, Crack, Crack Relationships, F/F, F/M, Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I was crazed, I wrote this in like 2013, Implied Mpreg, Laughed, M/M, Mentioned Simon Cowell, Mpreg, Multi, OT5 Friendship (One Direction), One Direction References, Pregnancy, Simon Cowell is a Slut for One Direction, Sugar Daddy Simon Cowell, Swearing, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, and under heavy insomina medication, completed work, decided you should suffer with me, found it in the drafts, heavily in the fandom, lost a little more of my soul and will to exist, why am I letting this see the pure light of day?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:14:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,378</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28552731</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Comet_97/pseuds/Crazy_Comet_97</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“What is it? Automatic Piss Off The Pregnant People Night? A full moon? Something in the water?” (Born out of crack, plain and utter crack, pure early 2K13 era. Not all of it’s true though (at least, not anymore). Larry, Ziam, Eleanille, Jusden [Justin Bieber X OC, Selena is a friend and ‘beard’] with two poor siblings and Niall thrown in between.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eleanor Calder/Danielle Peazer, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Justin Beiber/Original Male Character(s), Niall Horan/Original Female Character(s), Zayn Malik/Liam Payne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Direction Erections and Band Bangs In-Between [25]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/29266</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Flaming Homosexual's Pregnancy Partner Club</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Fucking hell, I knew when Justin left you to go on tour, you would start complaining, but over this?! Jesus Christ J.D., put a lid on it!</p>

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    <p>“Me!? Me complaining!? What about you, you always fucking grouch at me when I ask you to do anything, even something simple!”</p>
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    <p>“So simple that you can do it your-fucking-self, if you haven’t got it through your thick skull yet, you are not a motherfucking invalid!”</p>
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    <p>“I fucking feel like one because of this, you know, Liam, Danni and Louis are in the same shit I’m in and they have their partner to help them, mine lives in fucking America, Angel!"</p>
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    <p>“It’s actually Canada and I’m not fucking blind idiot.” “Suit yourself, bitch.”</p>
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    <p>“You know what, fuck you Jord, I’m goin’ the fuck out. Hopefully, you’ll have some fucking sense back in that hormonal-charged brain of yours when I come back!”</p>
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    <p>“Fine, fuck off Angie!”</p>
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    <p>That was the last thing Angela ‘Angel’ Devine said to her best friend Jorden ‘J.D.’ Meyer before walking out the door of their shared apartment and down the street. She was /pissed off/ and it was raining a bit, but let’s face it, we are in London and even though she was meant to go and spend the rest of the evening with Niall (sweet, handsome, hungry as fuck literally what the actual fuck, where does it all go-) at his place, it didn’t deter her. Mad is what mad does and given she was walking with her head down, she had no idea where she was going.</p>
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    <p>When a car horn beeped loudly, she jumped 2 feet in the air, before shaking the wetness out of her short, pixie cut brown hair. She found she was at the entrance of a local park and shrugging, she walked in, sitting in the middle of a dry gazebo, away from the rain.</p>
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    <p>She lit a cigarette, taking a drag and throwing her head back. Her big brother Josh always complained about her smoking, but it never stopped her. She only smoked when she was stressed and this was one of those times.</p>
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    <p>Usually, she never got stressed, nope, when looking at Angel, you knew she was calm, collected and never freaked out in the worst situations. But when too stressed, Angel turned into Zayn, pissed, brooding, quiet and she smoked. So basically, Zayn’s twin.</p>
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    <p>“Finally I found you, I don’t mean to be desperate, but do you have room for one more?”</p>
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    <p>Angel smirked. Speak of the devil. “You got kicked out too?”</p>
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    <p>Zayn looked down at her, rain dripping off the quiff which now was a soaked mess.</p>
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    <p>“Yeah, Li got pissy with me.”</p>
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    <p>“Join the club.” She said, gesturing to the seat next to her. Zayn slid in it, sighing. “So, what did you say to piss him off?”</p>
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    <p>“I told him he should be resting and not working on songs and stuff since he’s closest and we got into an argument over it that ended in banishment.” Zayn said.</p>
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    <p>“He really should, you know.” Angel said, nodding. “He spends so much time taking care of everyone else and working on your guys' projects in his spare time, can’t he give Daddy Direction a rest and just be pampered himself?” She offered him a cigarette. “Fag?”</p>
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    <p>“Oh God yes, to both of those.” Zayn took the cigarette and Angel, feeling generous despite her own storm inside, lit it since he’d left his at home. They sat there for a while, listening to the rain, when a familiar splash of shoes was heard through the darkness.</p>
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    <p>Zayn jumped up with hands at the ready, Angel shoved behind him and glared into the darkness. “Whoever you are, you better get ready, cause when I find you...” He trailed off as Harry and Danielle came through into the gazebo, shivering. Both their sets of curly hair was no longer curly and their clothes soaked.</p>
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    <p>“Hey guys.” They chorused.</p>
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    <p>“Not you too!” Angel said, looking in between them confused (and maybe slightly desperate).</p>
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    <p>“What is it? Automatic Piss Off The Pregnant People Night? A full moon? Something in the water?” They all laughed.</p>
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    <p>“Nope, just our luck I suppose.” Harry said as they all sat down.</p>
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    <p>“Well...?” Zayn and Angel said, looking at them both.</p>
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    <p>“Washing.” Dani said, followed by Harry’s “Laughing at a joke he didn’t find funny.”</p>
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    <p>“Seriously...?” They both said. “Yep, you two?”</p>
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    <p>“Argument.” they both said. “What about this time?” Dani asked.</p>
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    <p>“Justin.” Angel groaned, Zayn following with ‘Resting.”</p>
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    <p>“Seriously guys, Justin and resting again?” Harry said, frowning.</p>
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    <p>“Yep.” Angie popped the ‘p’ on the end like a bubble made out of gum. “Gotta love pregnant people, especially 4 pregnant people of mixed gender norms and levels of whorishness living in the one apartment block owned by totally certified sugar daddy to the stars, Simon Cowell.”</p>
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    <p>“Fuck yeah, equality!” Harry grinned and that made everyone laugh as well, tension leaving most of their shoulders as what felt like armageddon raged around them and in the distance (maybe).</p>
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    <p>“You only say that cause’ each one of you totally fucked him.” Angel smirked.</p>
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    <p>“LIES AND SLANDER, DEVINE! HOW DARE YOU STOOP SO LOW-”</p>
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    <p>“BITE ME ASSHOLE!”</p>
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    <p>“HE HAS, MULTIPLE TIMES! DO EITHER OF YOU NOT REMEMBER COPENHAGEN!?”</p>
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    <p>“ZAYN, YOU AREN’T ALLOWED IN THIS CONVERSATION!”</p>
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    <p>“I WISH TO DEFEND HARRY AND MYSELF OF THIS ACCUSATION!”</p>
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    <p>“YOU FUCKING WISH, MR. I GOT RAILED BY MY BOYFRIEND ON THE EIFFEL!”</p>
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    <p>“WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU THAT!?”</p>
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    <p>The ‘play’ argument as it became, turned into a dispute over several grievances, ranging from topics such as ‘How Many Horrific Tattoos Louis Has Woken Up With Thanks To Harry’s Non-Existent Artistic License’ (“IT WAS ART AT THE TIME!” “IT’S BURNED INTO MY RETINAS FOR LIFE, HAROLD!”)</p>
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    <p>to ‘Zayn Attempting To Defend Him and Liam’s Deflowering of Their Relationship in Paris of All Fucking Places’ (“Seriously, you could have chosen somewhere so much better and not become a fucking cliche!” “What did you want me to do!? Lock him to that padlock bridge in the middle of nowhere and fuck him!?”)</p>
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    <p>to ‘We May Have To Strap Liam Down If He Doesn’t Start Not Doing Stuff Like Soon, Really Soon’ (“You mean like tie him in four points to the bed?” “No, idiot! Literally, get a bunch of bandages and strap his whole body down like a SAW movie!” “I OBJECT-”)</p>
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    <p>to the very so broad topic of ‘You Still Totally All Fucked Simon Cowell In That Vacation House In Marbella and You Can’t Deny It’ (“YOU HAVE NO PROOF!” “AH! WHY WOULD I NEED PROOF, HAROLD!? CAUGHT RED HANDED! ALL OF YOU ARE SHAMEFUL! EVEN MY POOR SWEET BABY NIALL! MY POOR VIRGIN EYES AND EARS! DANIELLE SAVE YOURSELF!”)</p>
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    <p>Eventually, it was of course, Danielle, who in becoming the voice of reason for the group, looked back into the rain shrouded shadows of the street with a thousand-mile stare worthy of a war movie and maybe a BAFTA (or five) as the argument faded with her words of (supposed) wisdom. “We should probably go back before this storm gets worse. Both of them.”</p>
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    <p>The 3 other members let out various chorus-like groans of discontent, before reluctantly, getting up from their respective spots and shuffling like a fleet of Roman soldiers into battle, formation huddled as they trudged through the soaking and shockingly cold rain back to their respective apartment blocks and of course, individual apartments with the hive mind of just turning themselves off for the night and completely shutting out everything till the next morning.</p>
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    <p>“God save the band bang.” They all had pledged, before each swiftly entered and shut a different door behind them, the turmoil of the night as heavy as the rain beating down on their roofs as each either staked their claim on a couch or floor (or kitchen countertop in Liam’s case) without a word to anyone, eyes closed and hopeful that soon enough, all of this would be over.</p>
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    <p>And by the end of the year, there were four birth announcements in the British newspapers:</p>
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    <p>‘Asali Elina Mailk-Payne - 7lbs, 5oz.’</p>
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    <p>‘Martinique Abrielle Beiber-Meyer - 6lbs, 14oz.’</p>
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    <p>‘Arabella Elizabeth Tomlinson-Styles - 8lbs, 16oz.’</p>
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    <p>‘Harrison Kingsley Calder-Peazer - 7lbs, 19oz.’</p>
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  <p> </p>
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    <p>"You are all loved and welcomed to the world."</p>
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